In a world where control and restrictions often shape young lives, the author reflects on the profound impact of her parents’ unique approach to her hair. Growing up in a conservative and religious household in Missouri, her parents enforced strict rules on various aspects of her life, but when it came to her hair, they embraced a remarkably different philosophy.
While her parents had a laundry list of rules, such as not watching certain movies, not wearing bikinis, and attending church regularly, they had only one request concerning her hair: to keep it clean and combed. In a region where tradition and conservative values reigned supreme, this approach might seem unusual. However, her parents allowed her to make her own choices about her hair, promoting an early form of bodily autonomy.
The author fondly recalls experimenting with her hair throughout her childhood and teenage years. From short bobs to pixie cuts, from vibrant hair colors to highlights and lowlights, her parents never intervened or objected. They understood that her hair was her domain, and they respected her choices. Hair dye, products, and styling tools were all readily available to her.
In a pre-social media era, the author spent hours at her local Walmart, poring over magazines to research hair-care tips and product recommendations. The term “bodily autonomy” wasn’t part of her vocabulary during those years, and her youth pastors never discussed it in church. However, her parents’ approach to her hair inadvertently instilled a sense of autonomy within her.
When asked about their parenting approach, the author’s parents explained that they allowed her to have full control over her hair because they believed it was her choice. In doing so, they imparted a valuable lesson about autonomy.
As an adult, the author’s life diverged from her parents’ conservative beliefs. She stopped attending church, came out as bisexual, and embraced her own political views. Yet, the lesson her parents taught her about being in charge of her hair has remained with her.
Despite living in a region where short hairstyles for women are less common, the author proudly continues to experiment with bold, short haircuts. She values her autonomy in this aspect of her life, a precious gift from her parents that has shaped her self-confidence and independence.
